Leadership Development: New Year’s Resolution Not to Shy Away from Difficult Conversations as a Manager

As managers of people, it is important we all have a New Year’s Resolution to improve our work effectiveness. One thing I do—as most people do—is dread the looming difficult conversations that I know I will have to initiate. We all have to possess the courage to face these conversations as part of our obligation as managers. Vanderbilt’s Executive MBA performance coach, Darin Rowell (10-90.com) recently did a workshop on Leading through Trust and Powerful Conversations. Here are some excerpts from his workshop to help you start your new year off powerfully. Tami

"As a leader, what do you get paid to do? When I pose this question to my clients and students of Vanderbilt’s Executive MBA program, their initial response typically centers on the technical aspects of their role. However, as they listen to their own responses, they quickly come to the realization that most if not all of their time is spent in conversations with others, whether colleagues, customers or suppliers. The more senior leaders almost immediately answer with something along the lines of “I spend most of my time talking with people and helping them think through situations.”

It’s my experience that organizations themselves are nothing more than networks of conversations and relationships. As leaders, we create business results through our ability to have effective conversations and to build effective relationships. (To provide context, I consider an “effective conversation” one that leads to the chosen result.) In turn, a leader’s ability to have effective conversations, including difficult ones, is often a good proxy for their ability to produce sustainable results. Effective leaders have these characteristics in the way they communicate:

• They understand that for any given result, there are certain conversations which need to take place, while others are not relevant and may even be distractions.
• They have a clear sense for “missing conversations.” Missing conversations are those that must take place in order for individuals or teams to re-align or address issues specific to performance. I’ve found that “missing conversations” are often one of the key factors resulting in performance problems.

As you go through your day, I encourage you to put this framework to the test. Are there performance problems that exist because of your or your team’s inability to consistently have effective conversations? When you identify situations where performance levels are not being met or not being sustained, look for missing conversations.

Poor performance is a typical symptom of a breakdown in relationship as the cause. If you are anything like my clients or me, I can guarantee that you will find opportunities to improve your effectiveness by focusing on powerful conversations. We invest countless hours in both business school and on the job learning the technical aspects of business and of our chosen industry. Yet, as leaders, it’s through our ability to have effective conversations and build effective relationships that we are able to leverage all we have learned in order to produce sustainable results." Darin Rowell